Have you seen funny snowmobile trail signs on snowmobile tours? Trail signage can be both useful and entertaining. Mostly, it’s useful and serious, which is why people stealing snowmobile trail signs is so stupid and dangerous as I point out in this Snowmobiler TV video clip…
That being said, I don’t know if some of the messages are intended to be funny or whether it’s just an unfortunate choice of words or a happenstance of sign placement. But too often, the outcome is hilarious or dangerous or just nonsensical. Here’s what I mean…
Redundant Funny Snowmobile Trail Signs
One trail system had a profusion of signs placed at the bottom of slopes. They read: “Blind Hill”. This assumes there must be some other kind of hill. If so, then where are the signs for a “Seeing-eye Hill” or a “Transparent Hill”? Similarly, what is a “Blind Corner”? One where vision impaired folks turn?
Perhaps my favourite hill sign is one that inevitably is halfway up the slope. I usually spot it as the angle of the incline increases so dramatically that I’m about to slide off the back of my seat. It says: “Steep Hill”. So if we’re signing the obvious, why not also have: “Turning” at each corner or “Straight Ahead” each time I can see the trail stretching straight ahead like a white carpet to the horizon?
More Weird Ones
I came across several “STOP Ahead” signs last winter that were posted at, not prior to, a road crossing. So where was I supposed to stop, after the logging truck hit me? Or how about the occasions when I’ve seen a “STOP” sign on the far side of a 90-degree corner, usually posted on the last tree before I’d launch into some abyss if I blew the corner? It’s a small comfort to know that an accident reconstruction expert might report after the fact that I was trying to obey the last sign I saw.
In the mountains, I once spotted a sign made all the more unusual by the general absence of signs in those locales. Located at the top of the highest peak, it read: “This is How High Up is”. Or how about the one that reads: “24 Hour Grooming”? I always wonder if this means 24 hours a week or a season? Maybe the trail is bumpy for me because I arrived at the 25th hour…
Other Funny Snowmobile Trail Signs
And don’t you just love the destination signs that give the place names, followed by a blank space where the distance should be, followed by the letters “KM”? Until informed differently, one group of European tourists thought “KM” designated the municipality! Worse, I came across one intersection that had two, twenty-foot poles festooned with town names — but not one of them had a directional arrow or any other indication of where each community might be! But at least I knew which towns I was lost nearby!
Then there are the ubiquitous signs depicting a deer or a moose. They never say where the animal is supposed to be or for what distance, so I don’t know if I’m supposed to keep an eye peeled for only a minute or the rest of the day or not. I wonder if those mammals even know that the sign is where they’re supposed to cross the trail?
I even saw a sign that read: “Deaf Child Area”. Now what does that mean? One child or many? And what am I supposed to do, send up a flare? Please give me better information!
I like the sign I’ve spotted at several gas stations: “No Permit, No Gas”. Now that’s a clear message to the cheapskates who don’t pay their way. They should sit empty at the pumps forever. Or how about a sign that communicates, either by word or icon, that there’s gas ahead. Then, as your needle drops to the bottom, you never see another. I guess that lone gas sign meant that if I stay on this trail long enough, there will be gas eventually — if I can walk that far!
Then there’s the sign indicating a bump ahead. It’s often found on a trail so mogulled out that if it weren’t for that sign, I never would have noticed that one specific bump! Instead of marking bumps, why not a sign that says: “Trail smooth for the rest of the day”!
The tips and advice in this blog are the opinions of the author, may not work in every situation and are intended only for the convenience and interest of the reader, who has the personal responsibility to confirm the validity, accuracy and relevancy of this information prior to putting it to their own use.